As we begin a new year AND a new decade, I find myself reflecting on the idea of resolutions, goal setting, and the expectations we set for ourselves as new parents.
There is this image of motherhood that we lose ourselves in our new baby. We let ourselves go. No more manicures or haircuts. Yoga pants and sweatshirts instead of our former sense of style. Not showering for days. Too tired to exercise. ⠀
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As a new mom, I was adamant that wouldn’t be me. And I really tried. For the first few weeks, I gave up sleep to shower and curl my hair. I made sure I had non-maternity jeans that fit. I forced myself to work out again at 10 weeks postpartum. I wanted to feel a little like the old me again. ⠀
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But then the exhaustion kicked in and I did a complete 180. I found myself prioritizing naps instead of completely blow drying my hair. Make up? What’s that? I looked tired. All. The. Time. Spin class on the weekends? Not when my husband is on baby duty so I can sleep in! ⠀
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I had zero energy to do the things that used to make me feel like me. It was when I noticed how haggard I looked and felt the made me want to make a sustainable change. For me, it was getting a hair cut. For others, it might be carving out me time to do a 30 minute online pilates class or reading a little before bed. Feeling like yourself is different for everyone. Just because I feel like myself when I do my hair and put on jeans, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with yoga pants and messy buns.
For this new decade, I'm skipping resolutions. I usually give up by March (or sooner to be honest). Instead, I'm committed to making more manageable changes that make me feel like my best self. ⠀Yoga, washing my hair, putting on actual pants, and sitting down to eat. That's it.
Have you experienced any similar feelings? What little changes are you going to make for your postpartum self? Tell me in the comments. ⠀
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Struggling to find time for a shower with your new baby? As a postpartum doula, I can support you in finding ways to feel confident and comfortable in your new normal. Message me for details.